More Paradoxes.

Stupid.

No reason for saying that, it just needed to come out I guess. I think I'll stick with writing what needs to come out because if I don't do it now, it'll just come out later right? Right. My mood has been changing every five minutes so the end of this blog could have a completely different tone than the beginning. Well, it makes life interesting right? Right.

I do love Blindside. I bought their Ten Years Running Blind DVD the other day. I've watched it many times already. Not because it's amazing (eventhough it is), but because of one song. Oh my gosh, Jessica is my witness.... Goodness me. I watched the live version of their song About A Burning Fire and I had to fight back the tears. There's a part in the song where the music gets really quiet for about 30 seconds where he sings the words "I thought about a burning fire, I thought about a loving fire. I thought about Your love. I thought about Your love." Now, the song is completely loud and all the words are screamed instead of sung. I mean, honestly, he can do whatever he wants because it's beautiful either way, but during the live version... That 30 second part turned into like a minute or two because they started their own little worship session during one of their most hardcore songs... they just stopped, turned around and stood their with their hands raised singing "I thought about a burning fire, I thought about a love fire, I thought about Your love. I thought about Your love." And then they just started going crazy. It looked like my church on that stage. Whoever tells me Blindside sucks or anything else to that degree, I will slap them across the face and then sit them down and make them watch that video. Yes, I will slap you across the face if I have to.

This is a weird time in my life. I don't know what's going on at all honestly. Like I said before, weird mood swings.. must be menopause. Yeah, cause that's makes so much sense...

So I think I'll stay, caught up in silent prayer,
cause I believe in silence.
Our hearts speak the same words.
So why don't we just walk along the shoreline with our silent song?
Cause I believe in silence.
Our hearts speak the same words, the same words.

I really love that song. It's called silence. It's so beautiful.

I know I was made to go up this mountain
Every bone in my body tells me it's right
I know I was made to go up this mountain
But I'm getting scared of heights
Still I'll sleep to the sound of the monsters roar
Cause I'll sleep next to Your heartbeat forever
Sleep right next to Your heartbeat forever

This part in a song called The Endings thoroughly expresses where I am right now, how I feel, and anything else you can imagine. I don't even know what the mountain is, but I know it's there and I'm tired of going around it.

One day this world will see me at the horizon
One day from a distant light
And just before I stand to face my love
I'll turn around
And with a smile I'll say my goodbyes
Just one last goodbye
Goodbye

Sleepwalking. There's two versions, I love both but lately I only listen to the acoustic version. It's so beautiful. Christian Lindskog has a beautiful voice. I love it.

Wait up, don’t you close your eyes
Love has been hidden in the shadow
You’ve got the rope already tied around your neck
One voice whispers life through your sorrow

That's a part from the song called We're All Going To Die. Sounds completely depressing from the title, but if you continued the title as it is in the chorus, it would read "We're all going to die, But we're not all meant to die young."

We are the sons and daughters of a revolution
Revolutionaries walking us out of oppression and into a no-law promised land
Where there is no right or wrong

And this leaves us with a great sense of sadness growing inside our soul
No one can explain where it's coming from
Or where it's taking us

We just know that something is lost

That somehow we are lost

And this, my friend, is the great depression

-The Great Depression-

It's ok if you break
You'll see colors again
This is more than you can take
You'll see colors again
It's your life that's at stake
You'll see colors again
Don't you think it's my time, anytime soon

That's me. Ironically it's called Painting.


Everything that's italicized was written by the boys of Blindside, and almost fully expresses everything that I've been feeling. A lot of interconnected things that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. It's because I'm a paradox. That's how my life goes. Completely random and interesting, not always fun, but interesting. Life. Makes me want to scream. The funny thing is that I was completely happy for about five minutes in the middle of writing this and now I'm in a different mood now. Weird. I don't get it. Something's trying to play with my emotions and I don't appreciate it very much. But I do find it kind of funny.... More paradoxes.