Dad, this one's for you...

So, my dad found out about my last blog about Steven... And he got kind of jealous. So dad... This one's for you.. Too bad it's not going to be solely about you though. No, it's about my family background.

Before you think that I'm the weird one in the family, just know that all this randomness goes back to all four of my grandparents.

Let us start on my father's side.

My grandma is 4'11", but don't ever try messing with her because she'll either get you with her quick wit or she'll shove you up against the wall, shake her finger, and say "Don't you ever do that to me again young man (lady)!" Once she says that to you, or you witness it happening to someone else, you won't ever try it again. Just because you're bigger than her does not mean she still can't take you down. I'd like to think I got her feisty side.

My grandpa is 6', he live in Arizona, and he sure can tell a story. Most of his stories aren't true, but they're funny. It's to the point now that I'm not really sure which stories are true anymore, but they're all great. He can carry on a story for the longest time and if you didn't know him, you'd think he was telling the truth... maybe he is... Well, he passed that one down to me too, I can make up random stories on the spot pretty well too.. not like him, but I'm getting there.

Now for my dad, he makes up stories and messes with you, unless you're my grandma, and knows how to deal with us feisty women pretty well. We're kind of alike I guess....

Over on my mother's side, which just happens to be on the left, we've got my grandma and grandpa. Those two are crazy enough that we don't even need to begin to go into how crazy that side of my family is.

Anyways, my grandpa, who passed away a few years go, was halarious. He was always being such a smart aleck. I think he's the one that passed it onto my mother eventhough he always accused her of being the "smart aleck kid". He was a terrible driver and irony filled his life. Irony such as: The back liscence plate of the moter home he had read "CRSH" or, as we like to say, crash... we thought it was ironic seeing as how he was always running into things. Also, my grandpa was an electrician and yet, in his office, hung a single lightbulb from a wire. No fiture, just the wire and the lightbulb. My mom always chimed in about that one.

My grandma has mellowed down through the years, but from what I hear she was a regular outside the box kind of girl. There's this story that I was told about my grandma a while ago that brought me to this conclusion and made me realize we're more alike than I though. Well, one sunday my grandma and grandpa were going to church. They decided to visit this church where is was only appropriate to wear long skirts or dresses and no makeup. So what does my grandma do you ask? Oh yes, she walks into church in her petal pushers and bright red lipstick looking like Lucielle Ball. Apparently she caused a stir. And I thought I was the first one in the family to offend religious people. Who knew that my grandma was the first... at least to my knowledge.

Now, if you know my mom, you understand that I'm kind of like her clone, just younger. We look that same, act the same, use the same handmotions when we're saying the same words. We've got the same sounding voice, and we don't even have to finish two-thirds of our sentances to understand what the other is saying, leaving my dad just sitting there for a few moments until it processes that we didn't say one complete sentance in the whole conversation and that he has no idea what we're talking about. I love my family.

So there you go, if you ever wondered where all my craziness came from, it was those guys. My crazy grandparents, forever keeping me entertained with stories, wit, and, every so often, a good, brutal beat down.

In Loving Memory...

About a week ago my Great Uncle Kent passed away in China. What was he doing in China? Well, he worked for the U.S. Government at the embassy doing electrical engineering stuff. He's travelled around the world making sure the Embassies always have power. Him and his wife, Sylvia, haven't lived in the good parts of the world either...

My mom told me a story about my aunt and uncle a few days ago that I thought was totally sweet. Hopefully I can get this right.... So, they used to live in Rwanda when the civil war broke out amonst the citizens. Well, they had evacuated everyone out of the embassy and there were a bunch of marines sent to protect the embassy, but my aunt and uncle had to stay behind to make sure there was power for the marines. So, during this time when the war broke out, there was no communication out of the country except for the marines but my aunt and uncle weren't allowed to use the military's communication, which meant that no one in our family knew if they were even still alive.

One day, the rebels took over a nearby orphanage and the marines had to go rescue the nuns and the orphans and bring them back to the embassy to be airlifted out.

Then, their son, my cousin, was watching CNN.. and who do you think was on tv? My aunt Sylvia. CNN was showing video footage of my aunt helping the nuns and the children get airlifted out. So, my cousin calls the entire family and they all watch in relief that my aunt and uncle are safe.

Then my aunt and uncle finally were able to call from the satellite phone the marines had and when my cousin asked if everything was alright my aunt told him that everything was great but there were a bunch of hungry marines at her table that were ready to be fed.


My uncle was halarious though.

Funerals, in my family, are unorthodox... SHOCKER! Usually, the speakers start with the people who are very serious and will make you sad and then end with the people that have all the funny stories about whomever just passed away.

One of my favorite memories of my Uncle Kent was at my great grandma's (his mother's) funeral. I'm pretty sure he was the last one to say something and when he was done, there wasn't a dry eye in the place.. due to excessive laughter.

He talked about how his mom would always be praying for his "cousin" Bruce. Come to find out that his "cousin" Bruce turned out to be his "brother" Bruce as well... That's right they were cousins and brothers at the same time.

We all should've known that this story was going to be told because Uncle Kent always loved to pull it out on unsuspecting people who didn't fully know the interworkings of our family.

So he tells everyone that his brother was also his cousin without any background info first.

So here's the background he gives us after he tells us the story of his cousin Bruce... You may need to read it over a few times to actually understand it.

-So my Uncle Kent and Grandpa Bruce were brothers.
-They have two sets of grandparents, one on mom's side and one on dad's.
-Grandpa on mom's side and Grandma on dad's side both die.
-Then Grandma on mom's side marries Grandpa on dad's side.
-They do this after Kent and Bruce's parents are married and have kids.
-So, by deductive reasoning, or something like that, Kent and Bruce's mom and dad are technically step brother and sister.
-Making all of their kids technically cousins.

This story is normal for my family, but for everyone else... It's a bit much. But that's how my uncle Kent was, not afraid to be funny.

So, no, no one in my family has an extra toe or anything like that. We like to say that we're just an American family with alot of funny people.

Next time I'll tell you who I get all of my different traits from. I figured it out one day, and I must say... My family is halarious.. I got it from both sides...

In loving memory of Kent Mackabon... You will be missed at all funerals and weddings alike.